I Love Rich People.

And I don't mean just rich. I mean filthy, stinkin' rich. I'm happy to see there are still a few left. Their retail ringleader? Eva Jeanbart-Lorenzotti. Her recommendations for Depression Recession-wear include a serpent bracelet for $27,600. Seriously, though. What well-heeled hostess wouldn't like a carved lobster figurine to regift to some future well-heeled hostess?

Carved Lobster Figurine, Vivre Selection, $415

And if you're always looking for something more special than just an empty beer bottle to stuff a single red rose into, the "Beer Bottle Vase," $140. Each.

Hand-etched vase (their description, not mine) made of "recycled" beer bottles. Brown with gold leaf. 9". By Esque Studio. $140. Each.

You could just go to Michael's and get some gold leaf to slap on your empties and call it a day. Let's see. What other goodies? Who doesn't need a set of handblown sperm for their coffeetable?

Glass "Swirls," Set of 2, $95

And just in time for Halloween. Don't just go to the farmer's market and get a bunch of regular gourds for $10, order these "special, non-cliche" gourds for $195:
"Alabama Chanin takes the cliché and the predictability out of the

usual seasonal décor with these curlicued organically grown gourds,
specially selected for their fantastical shapes and painted white. Set of six, $195."

Looking for that special accessory to spice up your drab outfit? This. Is. It.

Ebony Royal Totem Brooch, Lotus Arts de Vivre Exclusive, $7000.00.

Back on the homefront, for your friend, the jokester hunter (and what better time for joking around than when you are armed?):

Cat Trophy by Nymphenberg, $979.00

For the nouveau gangsta on your list, a celebration of art and crime:

Graffiti dinnerware, in the Dutch Delft style, $100/5-pc. set.

And the piece de resistance: The Niagara Chandelier by Lladro, starting at $45,000:

Pricey, but she is tres belle, non?

I could go on all day but, alas, I don't have the time. If you'd like to visit Eva and see what her luxe world is like, go to Vivre.com.