Good Vibrations?

I understand having the ability to put your phone on vibrate. It makes sense. It's a subtle way to get your attention. But when they came out with vibrating razors, I was perplexed. And a little turned on. I mean, you could go to Target, get some Listerine and laundry soap, maybe a new DVD, and a sex toy new razor. And who would know the difference, right?

Or as SF Gate writer Mark Morford observed so long ago in his hilarious article, "Another Hard, Hot Pink Shave":

"You can use it in the shower. You can use it in the bathtub. You can use it on your armpits, though they don't talk much about that in the marketing copy because it's not very sexy and most people don't masturbate anywhere near their armpits, so far as you know."

"...And do note, won't you, how the vibrating portion on the men's M3 razor is actually where you'd expect it to be -- in the tip, nearest the blades. Not so in the Vibrance. For the women, Gillette kindly put the vibrator in the opposite end, in the smooth, engorged, rounded handle base. Gosh, you could even leave the blades off entirely and still use the vibrating handle! Isn't that thoughtful of them? Isn't that moist and juicy? Do you want them to smack you over the head with the obviousness of it all?"

Click here for the entire article.



But then we get to the inexplicable: Vibrating mascara. Have you seen it yet? Or tried it?

Lancome has come out with its Oscillating Powermascara (yes, one word, because it's supercalifragilistic) with 7,000 oscillations per minute. And it coats every lash up to 360 degrees. Which means from 0-360 degrees. And it requires batteries.

And you have to hold the button down while your are applying the mascara which, if nothing else, will help you to work on your manual dexterity.

Estee Lauder has TurboLash All-Effects Motion Mascara. It's like IMAX for lashes. Or maybe NASCAR. Something with all caps. And it practically puts itself on for you.

I can understand the vibrating phone and the vibrating razor (well, not really). But vibrating mascara? All I keep thinking is, somebody's going to put an eye out.

Hershey's Makes the Very Best...Profits.

I was reading that Hershey has increased its prices due to increases in the cost of ingredients. I am okay with that. I would rather have good ingredients in products I am consuming (and I am known to consume large quantities of Reese's cups this close to Halloween). And I'm very late to the party on this but I'm also very unhappy to read that the Hershey company has been using inferior ingredients in its chocolate for years.

"They've also changed the manufacturing process (Hershey’s no longer roasts its own beans or processes them into chocolate liquor, they’ve subcontracted that to Barry Callebaut), altered how long products are conched and have started substituting substandard ingredients. In 2006 Hershey’s began using PGPR, which is an emulsifier and extender, in some of [its] milk chocolate products, but it wasn’t until this year that it finally appeared in the formula for the Hershey’s Milk Chocolate bar."

In fact, I've read that some of Hershey's products aren't even allowed to be called milk chocolate anymore. Sort of like Velveeta and that individually wrapped Kraft cheese cannot actually be called cheese but "cheese product."

Do you really want to hand that out for Halloween? I'd rather have wax lips. At least you know what's in it. Guess I'm back to Godiva (hazelnut praline truffles in case you are thinking of sending me some). Sigh.

And I almost forgot the good news: Hershey's profits doubled for 3Q 2008. I'm so happy. Because in America, that's what it's all about, right?