Monday, February 16, 2009

Ban Men from Delivery Rooms?


The practice of allowing men in delivery rooms has only been around for about 35 years but it's something today's woman takes for granted -- often whether her husband wants to do it or not.

I just came across an article written by a top U.K. ob/gyn titled, "A Top Obstetrician on Why Men Should Never Be at the Birth of Their Child."

Click here for the article.

Your thoughts?

10 comments:

David said...

I think a number of men would prefer not to be there as well, but don't say that out of a sense of duty or because their partner tells them she wants them there.

I'm a bit of an outsider on this because I don't have, nor do I want children, but while we're on the subject, videotaping the birth has always seemed hideously wrong to me.

Yes, it's a miracle. Wash the little miracle up, put the little hat on him/her, let the Mrs. rest up a bit, and I'll be in to love and comfort.

Greta said...

Lol. Oh, I always get a kick out of men talking women things. Their thinking is so simplistic, and odd.

To each is own has always been a motto that I've stuck with.

An awesome thought-provoking post, Gorgeous.

hello gorgeous said...

I would love to hear men's thoughts on this - if there are any out there. Especially any who've been through it.

erin@designcrisis said...

I hate to think of my hubby seeing me suffering when our little one comes, but as I've said before, I need him there. Selfishly. He doesn't have to look at the scary parts, or cut the cord, or do anything icky he doesn't want to do. But he does have to feed me ice chips, rub my back, and let me scream at him. Sorry.

If my mom were here, I'd ask her to be at the birth, instead. But it's either hubby or no one. I pick hubby.

Oh, and videotaping is disgusting. Seriously gross.

Devon said...

I'll make this easy. He helped get me into this mess and he's going to help get me out. No if's, and's or butt's (hee hee) about it.

I wonder if people's feelings about this don't differ so much by sex (male/female) but by where they grew up?

hello gorgeous said...

As Erin knows, I originally wrote this post with an entirely different tone due to my having been privy to information about some of my friends' husbands and their (negative) reactions at having witnessed the births of their children, including fainting, vomiting, and worse, as stated in the article. Or they felt exactly as David said.

The wives have no idea about this so for years I've thought this was a great idea. But I am really curious what others think.

My favorite quote from this article was in the comments section from the woman who said a man at a birth is as useful as a chocolate fireman.

Devon - That's exactly what I expected to hear.

Nothing I've read so far makes me think location has anything to do with it. Definitely a sex issue as far as I know.

Anonymous said...

I didn't go to birthing classes for pretty much the same reason I didn't want hubby to go south-of-the-border during the birth...too much frightening information we can't do anything with.

In the end I had a c-section, so our scheduled pact that he would not venture south of my head, was a moot point.

Husband had a hair appointment scheduled for the day I was in the hospital in labor. I asked him to go. Some people (ones who don't know me/us well) were appalled by that. What? He needed a freaking hair cut. I wasn't going anywhere. He's not a doctor.

We're both extremely squeamish and on the same page on all important matters. When we first arrived, we were both confused when asked by the nurse where we wanted the mirror. When we asked what the mirror was for, she explained it was to watch the "show". We laughed our asses off. She got the point.

I really think we should bring the 1950's back, when men stayed in separate rooms and were told when the baby was born and then proceeded to hand out cigars.

red.door.read said...

what an interesting article. the links with the birthing process and the chemistry of the brain are really interesting.

having a baby freaks me out. i'm a woman and i don't even want to be there for it.

hello gorgeous said...

red.door.read - That's the best comment so far.

Don't be freaked out. I've been reading about women now having doulas is the thing. It's probably some ancient thing, doulas. But they are there to basically wait on the woman hand and foot in addition to the nurses, etc.

I think that's a great idea to have someone really useful but families have changed and roles have changed.

Anonymous said...

Hello Gorgeous:
Thank you so much for posting this article. For years I have felt like a freak b/c I do not want my husband in the delivery room with me.
My grandmother, was a midwife in South America, living with her and sometimes helping her in her work , I grew up with the sense that a birth was an event of deep sisterhood (for lack of a better word)that connected females even if they didnt have children. It was something that men couldnt touch even if they wanted to.

I remember such a special energy in the female only delivery rooms.That energy is something I havent experienced yet, working as a nurse in a hospital setting. Yes, all births are special in their own way and many fathers (not all) are happy and helpful.
However in practice I do notice that some fathers dont want to be there and some mothers dont want them to be there for the delivery, but they feel ostracized by staff, family &friends if the father didnt participate, I've even come across families that think its hospital policy!

As for myself, in my future deliveries I would like my mother my sisters and my midwife with me, as for my husband, he says he doesnt care as long as I'm happy, since Im the one having the birth after all.
Thanks for letting me share,
-Floridalma

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