First off, I would like to say that I do not hate easily. I do not hold grudges (probably as a result of a very long college-grudge-holding incident) and I do not really hate much of anything. Even for my
Anyway, in the spirit of fairness to my last post (and I am nothing if not fair), my list of things I hate (or dislike greatly):
1) Gum crackers. If you are cracking your gum standing behind me in line at the grocery store, there's a good chance I will "accidentally" back my cart into you.
2) Cars with hyper bass. I have no idea what you call that soul-invading amplification, but I keep cutlery in the car for just such an occasion. Okay, not really, but there's a good chance I will "accidentally" back my car into you.
3) The Notebook. I don't care if you loved it. I hated it. I was rolling my eyes at the end when everybody was crying. Who didn't see that ending coming in the first scene in the movie?
4) Man Jewelry. If you are a guy, I don't want to see a bracelet on you unless it's on your ankle from jail. (Wedding rings are excluded from the hate.)
5) When people say "ironically" when they mean "coincidentally." Truthfully, this should probably be much further down on the list. (It also includes people who say "Ying and Yang." Still further down the list.)
6) All kinds of people, starting with: People who don't push the grocery cart back. You just walked through a mile of aisles to get your groceries and you are so exhausted you cannot walk another 20 feet to push your cart back?
7) People who throw litter out their car windows. I once followed a handicapped car with a guy driving who threw an entire bag of McDonald's out his window. At the stoplight I harrassed him about littering and he started screaming at me, "Fuck you, asshole!" and flipped me off until I was no longer in sight. Yeah.
8) People who say Foy-ay instead of foyer. Unless you are French, I want you to repeat after me: FOY-ER. Thanks.
9) People who make a fake phone with their hand when they are recreating their phone call to someone.
10) When my dog does not own up to her farts. She never does.
11) The smell of wet peanut butter. My daughter says it smells the same as peanut butter. No. It doesn't. It smells like sick (I almost couldn't write that). I can't clean out the peanut butter jar for recycling for that reason.
12) People who are not handicapped who park in the handicapped space. You are a loser and I will narc on you like nobody's business.
Ahhh, that felt good. Your turn.